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It is funny how actual news can almost seem unreal. I just did a post on Yahoo!’s caving in and settling over the Chinese dissidents affair, and now I find news that Chiquita Bananas is being sued for even more ghastly allegations. The suit against Chiquita Brands International was field today alleging that the company funded and armed a Columbian paramilitary group accused of killing independent banana growers. I know, I could hardly believe it too!

According to the Reuters news story, the civil lawsuit is demanding $7.86 billion for 393 victims and their relatives. The suit accuses Chiquita of conspiring with the United Self-Defense forces of Columbia (AUC) to control Columbia’s banana growing regions. According to the plaintiffs lawyer Jonathan Reiter: “It was about acquiring every aspect of banana distribution and sale through a reign of terror.” The suit seeks damages for supporting terrorism, war crimes, wrongful death and torture according to the news.

Chiquita has already admitted to paying off the AUC and other violent guerillas factions. The AUC has been accused of taking part in massacres during Columbia’s long standing guerilla war before the disarmament in 2003. Chiquita already agreed to pay a $25 million fine to settle the criminal complaint by the Justice Department (a fine for terrorism?). This lawsuit seeks $10 million in punitive damages for each of the victims based on the precedent set by the Libyan case after the bombing of Pan Am flight 103 in 1988.

I hate to be blunt, but this is some BS. I won’t bore readers with a tirade about big business – but I should. Chiquita is funding terrorism to control more banana trees? I want to make light of this by revealing my image of some corporate bozo dressed in a banana suit – directing commandos, but the sad truth for the poor farmers there in Columbia is too stark. I am sitting here wondering if you read this with a sense of WTF as I feel in reporting it. This may just be the “do no evil” Twilight Zone report of the year. It is interesting to note that the U.S. Justice Department actually has a category for fines to levy against funding guerrilla war – unbelievable.

Conclusion
You know, everyone I talk to (and this is a considerable number) essentially admits that the world has gone bonkers. If Chiquita is willing to invest money to fund and arm mercenaries in order to take over some banana trees, what then are the really big players prepared to do? I have a theory, which some accountants may take offense at (opps). We have turned out asses over to bean counters who calculate numbers so deeply that profit (no matter how it is gained) is everything. I just know these antisocial – mechanical gnomes have calculated everything from ammunition costs down to lawyer expenses and weighted it against the exact dollar amount of the potential crop yield. I will never again eat a banana sandwich without checking the label first.